if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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