I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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