Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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