You work out of a Hotel?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
