I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
