Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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