My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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