Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My breasts were aching with rage.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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