new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
