Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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