i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
