I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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