I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she smelled like a LAN party
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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