I met the friendliest cop last night
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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