there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
