this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
