Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
