tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
