He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
