So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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