u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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