Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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