I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
