Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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