I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
