She's JV to your varsity
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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