I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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