She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
