so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
