anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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