remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My feet surprised me
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