So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
