I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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