I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Drake has all the answers
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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