Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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