I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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