wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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