She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
