So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
