I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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