Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
