I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
