We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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