shes about as inviting as chlamydia
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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