I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
