So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
