we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize