there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
