It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
