hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize