WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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