just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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