i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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