He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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