its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
