matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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