debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize