i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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