Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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