My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
