In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
