Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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