i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We got so high we made milksteak
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
