To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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