after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The air was thick with penises
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
