He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
